Lord Bastard, I offer You this truly terrible idea, if it pleases You to accept it.

[time for plan: see if I can get through this without self-inflicted poison. Pen picked up the vial and carefully climbed on the stone pillar. He carefully poured the liquid into one hand. Assuming nothing catastrophic happened, he threw the empty vial over his head, at the key bubble. If it hit, great. If it failed to hit (or didn't break the bubble, he brought his other hand to his mouth and drank.]